planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
