The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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