I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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