I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
