I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
