Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
