I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
