Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
