No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
