How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
