How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
