Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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