dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
