3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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