Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Randomize
