he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
