Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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