Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
