so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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