Tell her she can't have a vagina
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
