what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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