last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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