Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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