dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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