She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
