I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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