Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
