Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
