you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
