boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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