whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
