you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
and you fell through a lawn chair
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
