He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
