If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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