I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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