Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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