yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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