Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
