how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
