put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
