Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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