Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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