Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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