I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
