Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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