some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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