i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
