wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
