I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
