Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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