So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I did not marry a roomba.
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