piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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