you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
