Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize