its not stalking. its research.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
