This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize