it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Boobs speak an international language.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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