Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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