I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize