i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
