I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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